Hand it over

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There’s a huge court case happening in Melbourne at the moment. George Pell, the former Archbishop of Melbourne and current 3rd highest ranked Roman Catholic in the world, has been convicted of numerous cases of sexual abuse on children. One of the victims died of a drug overdose, one committed suicide and the only surviving victim is struggling to deal with what happened to him 40 years ago.

Unfortunately bad things happen to people who don’t deserve it. I was sexually abused by one of my school teachers at a time in my life when I had no confidence because I was growing up in a house where my father struggled with alcohol. When he was sober, he was awesome. But under the influence he would become a total different person. There was always that uncertainty of what to expect when I got home. A few years later, after my father stopped drinking for around 5 years and became the most amazing person, he suddenly died in his sleep one night. One month later, my eldest brother died at the age of 31.

My life spiralled out of control after that. I felt sorry for myself and never knew how to deal with all the hurt that I experienced. I had no self confidence at all. When I never had the guts to end it all, I decided that I might as well drink myself into oblivion. You see, I allowed what other people did to me and the bad things that happened in my past, to hold my future hostage. My future became non-existent and that was the choice I made.

There came a day when I realised that there are far worse things that happen to far better people and they deal with them in a better way. When I had no more ideas on what to do and how to fix that, I turned to God. He is the most amazing restorer of the biggest messes. The walls of my life were tumbling down and I had forgotten who I was. That’s when He reminded me that I am not what others do to me, or what happens to me, or what other people think of me, or even what I think of myself.

I am who God says I am. The fact that I have been sexually abused doesn’t diminish who I am in His sight. The fact that I lived an out-of-control life for a long time doesn’t affect His love for me. The words from an amazing song called “Restorer” sum up what He did for me when I handed my mess to Him.

“I have seen the dawn, start to break between the cracks

The beginnings of a day I never thought would come to pass

You brought me back. You are the morning in my life”

Instead of looking to God for help once I exhausted every other option available, I could have saved myself so much hurt and suffering if I sought Him from the start. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself because of the situation you are in, hand it over to God. He’s an expert in dealing with messed up lives.

 

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